And so life goes on

Life has an ending. We all hope that day is far and away for our friends and loved ones.

Unfortunately for me and mine, my dear mom passed away on the 15th of May. She fought a long hard battle with lung and bone cancer. She promised she would  be around to see me graduate from Berea and she was. She fought to stay awake as she watched me receive my degree from President Shinn via the live feed Berea tried for the first time. She was the first person I saw when I arrived home on the night of Tuesday the 10th and teared up when I showed her my degree. She told me how proud of me she was and that she knew I would do great things. Little did I know when I walked out of that hospital room after telling her good night and that I loved her that it would be the last coherent conversation I would ever have with her. I'll spare you the details of what bone and lung cancer can do in its final stages, but her health began a rapid decline. I left her on the night of Saturday, May 14th with my older brother and granny (her mom) and that we would see her later. And then I received one of the worst calls about their parent a child can receive at just after 7 the next morning. I became the support my younger brother needed me to be. I made the phone calls and handled the early visits and condolences from the nurses and doctors that worked so diligently to keep her comfortable. I knew my time would come, even if I had to do it in private.

I did not have to wait long though. I bawled as my older brother held me, not having to be the oldest child, the brave face, for once. And then I picked up the pieces and became strong once again. I hugged my little (not so little) brother and figured out what I had to do. I put my own life and dreams temporarily on hold to make sure my family is taken care of. That my brother will have a place to live when I removed that hold and move on again. I'm just waiting now. Dreams take money, jobs make money, but jobs are few and far between in the little town I've called home since I was a small child. I have last resorts and people I can beg if absolutely necessary, but they are just that, last resorts that I would rather not use.

For now, I will soldier on and know I have friends and family that believe in me. I have places to see and a person to be, me.

Until next time.